Thursday, 28 February 2008

Gol gappay aur Mangoes

Without even a second thought I knew what the title to this post was going to be. I actually decided to write something on the above title when I was in the shower earlier in the evening. Oops didn't really have to mention that huh :p. Putting aside my comparative religious notes as i ineluctably log into my blog, I celebrate another reason to procrastinate a bit more.

Earlier today, my friend who is quite fond of eating, suggested we feast ourselves with a tray of gol gappay( an Asian mouth watering appetizer). Well that’s how the vendor serves his food, one plate in a tray with a time worn and overused bowl filled with unhygienic but sour and sweet and yummy "khatta". Thus very happily we made our way to the college gate and returned with a delicious tray of gol gappay. Now is when the real fun starts; the eating part. One has to forget all the mannerism and sophistication while eating this stuff. If my friend's reading this, which I'm sure she would be right now, she is going to have her eyebrows raised sarcastically at me the next time we meet and question me if I follow the rules of forgetting all the worries of having my hands getting dirty. Well I guess to some extent I'm concerned about the amount of khatta I add to the gol gappa and then open my mouth big enough to fit it in. The best technique to have gol gappay is to eat like no one’s watching you. In other words Khulay ho ker kaho. That is where my dad's theory of eating mangoes comes in. Mango is indeed a scrumptious fruit and requires precisely the same techniques of eating it like that of gol gappay. Mangoes and my dad reminds me of a beautiful column I came across where the writer wrote about her dad and his love for mango something like this ' a fruit that sends him into proclamations of ecstasy'. Pops too has a sweet tooth, a lot of it actually and cannot resist his temptation of reaching the state of nirvana, bliss, euphoria and all those adjectives that could bring you ultimate happiness.

Coming back to gol gappay and our journey to temporary elation- yes so we ate to our heart’s desire, sitting near the small fountain and parking lot of our college, in the heat of the sizzling sun burning our backs (yes its already the start of summer it seems). Content and fairly stuffed we headed back to the college corridors perhaps privately thinking of the next time we will have gol gappay. ;)

Monday, 25 February 2008

And i am guilty..

Sometimes even the simplest of things makes one shed tears and sometimes even the most devastating incident leaves us looking at a void but no tears come. What do I know of an emotion such that this one where people have tiny drops of dew rolling down their cheeks? As far as i know myself (and thats quite well) I'm one hell of an insensitive person. I'm not easily moved to emotions that would break me down. There are, however, times when one feels helpless. One of those rare moments took me by surprise today.
Why are we so helpless when it comes to supporting and standing up for our fellow human beings especially with whom we share a virtual link of sisterhood, a knot that tie us together emotionally and perhaps spiritually?
Here as I live every day of my life in luxury and comfort, there are my relations that i am somehow linked with, who suffer tremendously. While i sleep a carefree night in a warm bed, some little girls hide behind a fragile wall all night long awaiting their humiliated fate. Violence and insecurity have replaced the peace and integrity of my land too but I am from the guilty lot who has survived it all, untouched. I have shielded my pristine self from getting maimed and shattered physically at least. Apparently so we have triumphed over the brutalities of life. On the surface yes, but inside we too are shattered into tiny pieces.
So what do I do to save the ones fighting for what is theres. What do I do to hide my shame and conscience? Why do I close my eyes and hide my face and pretend that everything is fine. I see my own reflection in the figures sacrificing their skin, their blood, their soul. There has been a lot of blood, and there will be more of it. What can I do if not close my eyes when the ghostly waves of guilt drown me?

Sunday, 24 February 2008

This and That

Falling prey to the depressions of life is easy. It doesn't take a second for us to become helpless survivors of how bad life is to us. A daring plunge into the bright side of life now and then should be on our to-do lists. No? Alas we are humans and thus complicated, extremely cryptic (excuse my selection of words; I wanted to put it this way). We are never happy with the way life takes us. Since God gave us the status of 'Ashraf ul Makhlookat' we have been trying hard to prove Him wrong. Just see what a disaster we have made ourselves to be?!

Pushing away the realities of life we want to believe in chimeras, in sphinx and utopia (my favourite and over rated word). No matter how simple life could have been for us, we take it as our mission to fool everyone around us. Like that boy who shouted lion lion. As humans we have this distinctive quality of identifying ourselves to be very different, above the others so we decided to divide our society into a hierarchy. You are less deserving and less fortunate and that’s where your place is. I have been selected to put all the wrongs to right and thus deserve to be on the top of the pyramid/hierarchy. The truth, however, is that we all are pretty much alike. We all lie, we all hate someone or the other, all of us have weaknesses that we try hard to conceal, we all find ways to get our things done; we use our powers no matter how big or small but we use them. From a macro to a micro level, everyone has made hierarchies and placed themselves on the top of it. Am I making sense, no? That’s the point.

Revolutions or no revolutions, they are not the ultimate solutions to our freedom as we assume. They are not strong enough to break the force of survival of the fittest. How many revolutions in the past have resulted in endless harmony? The fittest one day or the other comes and shatters the walls of revolutions and sets its own standards of justice. They are not long lasting, they are vulnerable. The only thing revolutions do is make people aware of their rights, brings change. But then again, change is the only permanent thing in life. If revolution is a change, sooner or later some other kind of change will take over this change. Eventually a revolution that promised so much is reduced to only a fragment of history that would find its place as a memory faded too soon. Perhaps it would only be read in books for the generations to come and probably be critically dissected by the historians from every angle possible. Shreds of it will be quoted in every classroom, every lecture and every university and marveled on. People would wear T- shirts of the revolutionists and hope for a better, ‘peaceful’ world where ‘equality and democracy’ are extinct.

Saturday, 23 February 2008

"...not everyone who wanders is aimless. Especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond image."

Tuesday, 19 February 2008


My vote, my right. A 'good' way to right the wrong

Sunday, 17 February 2008

Thinking a lot?

These days I have been thinking a lot. That is dangerous! I don’t know I just can’t hold back my temptation of being drifted away with the river of my flowing thoughts. I was thinking that there are so many people in the world. I mean SO many. There are times when you can’t even count your own relatives correctly. I was thinking……

Have you ever felt ecstatic, ready for all the challenges of life like they are nothing but dust? Sometimes this feeling of total happiness charms us. Everything looks beautiful, sounds melodic; you even start to appreciate nature’s minutest of details. Every colour there is in the world becomes your favourite. Suddenly you feel like dancing to every tune of music. Life just couldn’t have been euphoric! Cloud nine is your permanent place in the world, there are no enemies, and you hate none. The donkey’s constant ‘dheencho dheencho’ sounds like Beethoven’s symphony and the rikshaw’s (a local three wheeled vehicle) pollutant smoke becomes harmless and traffic in jeopardy is just another tiny problem, totally ignorable. It's simply great like a seraph has shown us the new meaning to life that we were totally oblivious of. Love? no no its not the feeling of love that would be giving you all of the above bizarre visuals and sounds.
Well that’s all surreal, must have been your dream, so wake up! I mean no matter how much elated one is or drowning in love (beyond survival) a donkey’s dheencho can never be Beethoven’s music!!!! You must really be dreaming!!!

but you do agree there are a lot of, so many many people in the world. what are they doing?
told ya i have been thinking a lot..

Thursday, 14 February 2008

another day

Signed in, signed out. Clicked on new post, stared long at the white blank box. No words, no thoughts harmonized. And here the feeling of void and emptiness overcomes me again.
The pages of her diary are blank with thoughts and dreams. As the breeze from the window flutters away the rosy pages of her diary, some unwritten thoughts escape secretly.
Outside its a new crescent moon, a new night. The diffusion and the confusion. The intoxication of the uncommitted sin. Making no sense at all...
The sparkle in her eyes, the redness in her cheeks and the pearly smile. Too soon was it that it faded away into the mere illusion of our pseudo reality.
..then i have a dream in my nightmare. someone's thoughts begin to merge into mine.

When thoughts come rushing, you lose track of other things. It’s like trying to treasure all of them safely,somewhere, away from getting faded,blur…. What thoughts anyway?

Thursday, 7 February 2008


UGHHHHHH.... Every single day is a torture. No no not in university. Well that too is sometimes with some particular people!! The torture i am referring to is the small, medium and large sized green billboards and banners screaming out PML-Q and their 'bicycle ka nishaan'. To add to our miseries we have moonis elahi(weird name and a horrible legacy thats he is carrying forward) who has done photo session for the all the banners adorning the Liberty roundabout and Liberty. There are all kinds of poses that he has had his pictures taken in. Best from his pictures is where he is posing like "I m the next nelson mandela" or "i am here to save the day" photo with one arm raised up in a gesture of waving to 'his fans'. It is RIDICULOUS. Do we have a bigger font size? Because the amount of anger thats boiling out of me cannot be expressed sufficiently enough. The excessive and horrendous marketing of themselves and their party for the upcoming elections is a NIGHTMARE. The public, the poor public who is least interested in who moonis elahi is in the first place because they have more imperative issues to solve, that being atta, bijli, Khush haal zindagi in short.
One day, the day when i actually made the mistake of driving to liberty, i was extremely horrified to see a plethora of banners and even a HUGE bicycle model representing the chudharies. Liberty market wasnt filthy enough by the pan blotted walls and over flowing LDA waste bins(if any) that they had to put the bicycle there.
With the election day approaching my level of enthusiasm has gone to zilch. These are the first ever elections in which i have the opportunity/ right to cast a vote. hahaha. This is where the joke starts. i might sound very critical of everything related to politics but i just cant help it. I can see my vote going wasted; one because there is not even a single party or a person who i trust at this moment. Second there is zero level of trust i could put in the authenticity of these elections.

and now i desperately want to end this crap i wanted to take out. last words? hm Moonis elahi haye haye, PML- Q bye bye!!! (at least it rhymes BETTER than their advertisements that goes something like this "la day tu mora cycle tay" which read in English "Stamp your vote for the bicycle" in a tune taken from Ibrar ul Haq's punjabi bhangra song) If anyone has seen that ad, you know what i mean!

Monday, 4 February 2008

The Hamartia of Our Lives

We are all victims of tragic flaw. I never quite agreed with Shakespeare’s theory of tragic flaw being one of the primary factors that brought about his characters’/protagonists’ downfall and ultimately their death. All my literature classes consumed by the plays left me conflicting with his idea that seemed a bit invalid to me. Today a couple of years from then I have come to realize how true he had been. We indeed are vulnerable to our own tragic flaw. Aristotle the great scholar of all times described this tragic flaw as hamartia. It is the mistake in the personality that leads to the ultimate downfall. How often does it happen with us that we find ourselves defeated and betrayed? It seems life has been extremely unfair to us alone. The complexities of life maim our souls and through no apparent fault of ours we fall in a deep pit of bleakness. But it is always so easy to blame others for the mistakes that we unconsciously make. Isn’t it? It is like throwing all the burden of guilt on life’s unpredictable ways, on the world and the evils of it that robs us of our virtues. Some things in life become so clich├ęd that it amazes us at times. When we want to close the whole debate and the inner on going conflict it’s always our favourite line “ah the irony of life” or the oft recited phrase “our fate” and there you go. It was easy wasn’t it? Forget about the contradiction of philosophies and thoughts that we carry with ourselves. But there are things one just cannot sweep under the carpet and forget about them. Sometime or the other it does surface and remind you of your crime, your weakness, your tragic flaw. But like Brutus never realizes his tragic flaw and dies in the process so do we. We are the Macbeths noble yet overshadowed by the power of our hidden hamartia. Overcome by the lustful temptation to kill his king, his master and to fulfill the greed of a throne Macbeth commits the crime of his life. He murders to satisfy his desire but falls prey to his own failings. Irony! The question is can we over come our tragic flaws? Perhaps like Hamlet we can…but in doing so it brought about his self destruction.

Saturday, 2 February 2008

a laughing stock?

Ch. Shujaat Husain is currently the leader of PML-Q, a political party in Pakistan and also 'honoured' the nation by being Prime Minister for a while. Below is the excerpt from a 'devoted fan' of his (read sarcasm)

How you dare?
Monday, January 28, 2008
By Shakir Husain

Pakistan is lucky enough to have a visionary leader in the form of Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain whose family has sacrificed so much for the people of Pakistan. So when this great leader’s younger brother Wajahat Hussain and three nephews were detained under the anti-terrorist law at Gatwick Airport in London for several hours upon their arrival from Barcelona I felt insulted. I was then taken on an emotional rollercoaster when they were deported from London for Pakistan without even being given an opportunity to shop at duty free. Here are the blood relatives of one of the greatest politicians the world has ever seen, and they are treated in this terrible manner and deported without even being allowed to pick up their favourite Marks & Spencer sweaters. Oh the cruelty.

While student groups across the country are planning vigils to mark this great disrespect to the Chaudhries of Gujrat, I believe that Moonis Elahi, who is well known in Lahore as one of the greatest young entrepreneurs this country has ever produced, is planning on abandoning all ventures in Great Britain. Not only that the son of Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi, whose business acumen far outstrips his youth is also planning on liquidating the family’s assets in Great Britain as a sign of protest. Reportedly the British High Commission is quaking in their boots at this huge loss of investment. According to sources in the financial community, Marks & Spencer’s stock price is going to take a nosedive on the FTSE on Monday as the Gujrati clan has announced a boycott of all M&S products.

Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain, a man of many talents is also reportedly extremely upset at the detention of his younger brother (and little nephews), and is said to be in a state of emotional distress. Insiders believe that this event may impact the fiery speeches the elder statesman was to give in the PML-Q’s election campaign, which in turn may be a blow to South Asian democracy. Had the British government thought about the far-reaching implications of their actions?

The "tragic incident" with the beloved chaudhries is beyond the common man's struggle for daily basic necessities such as wheat, oil, electricity etc. Their pain, is our pain and their insult our! Shortage of food and water is secondary when our pseudo leaders are being detained at airports. Long live the Queen. (i dont know where this came from, i guess i m overcome with grief)


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