Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Longest post of year 2008

I have been playing around with words and juggling a plethora of random thoughts and emotions. its been almost a year. today i plan to write the longest post on my blog so far. what better way to leave behind a year and move on to the next with the longest post ever. Though to be honest i have absolutely no idea as to what this post is going to contain to qualify for the criteria.

The year was sometimes a battlefield of several untamed emotions, sometimes a smooth sailing through wild winds. there was a whirlpool of doubts and confrontations, overwhelming joy and sorrow. We have survived through all. However, life is not just about surviving. its about living right? I think this deserves a totally separate post someday.

For the time being i want to go on typing just for no reason at all. well there is this one target of making this the looooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggest. ok i have mentioned this a couple of times now. the point and agenda established. right. period. silence.

Politically life for Pakistanis was a totally freaky roller coaster ride. some people on the ride enjoyed and shouted and screamed, others didnt feel that good and threw up. right now i hear a political talk show where a member of the parliament is saying "our government is in a period of transition". such a long transition that has lasted for a year? and maybe even more....
One dictator left for he knew it was time to wash his uniform (any connection of the uniform to my magic shawl that needed a good washing?) After successfully pushing aside the uniform guy and providing him with a machine and surf excel another dictator stepped on stage, though without a uniform. that's a good change for the eyes.

The t.v is still blaring with shouts and proclamations of we-saved-Pakistan politicians making huge statements and throwing sarcastic comments on their rivals. This will go on...while it is, a few "public service" messages these days are offering words of wisdom to us - we the lowly creatures with tiny brains incapable of adding 2 and 2 to make even 4. One advertisement that i happened to endure goes something like this.

Ap bijli bachayn tu yeh kissi zaroorat mand kay kaam aay/ if you save electricity, someone more needy might be able to benefit from your saving and i assume that that "needy" are some VIPs and the extravagant weddings they arrange for their sons and daughters with hundreds of bulbs lighting the tents and banquet halls.

another ad goes like this

"agar AP gas heaters ki jaga garam kapron ka istamal kerain tu hum gas bachaa saktay hain/ if you wear warm clothes instead of using heaters, we would be able to save more gas" yes the bad news is that we are running short on gas as well apart from water, electricity, fresh air, sensible politicians. Actually the latter is only a myth! sensible politicians? myth!

Conclusion to be drawn from the above examples of public service messages is:

  • Wear warm clothes, lots of them.
  • Avoid washing them (clothes) as much as possible. This will save you water and electricity both.
  • Dont take a bath everyday, save water. what? why are you so astonished? come on, dont you remember we are on a mission to save EVERYTHING since our poor country is on the verge of a terrible decline when it comes to basic necessities AND that responsibility of saving fall on US as well.
  • Don't use heaters because that would lead to wastage of gas. Prefer dying of cold but no heaters.
  • If possible don't use the stoves which means no cooking and no eating? and no geysers to be used either which equals to freezing cold water. How would one then shower with cold freezing water? oh well that problem has already been sorted out earlier - no bathing, remember? :D :D

The key words in the above points were AP (US. "us, we" not United States!) saving, and stop living. the last key word is hidden behind all the above, read between the lines or listen to everything being said in the ads/ public service messages.

warning: there are elements of extreme exaggeration in the above written post.
warning no 2: the post was written violating all the rules of living to be adopted by the people of Pakistan but you cannot sue me because we are not a rich country, only some of the humble politicians are and they are not our relatives. they would never give you money to sue me.
warning no 3: hahahahah, you can never sue me because we dont have a free judiciary.
warning no 4: dont tell me public service messages are about not smoking, not molesting the kids and not getting married.

p.s Just follow the instructions that are given on the tv ad/messages. All then we have to do is sit there quietly. And dont forget to switch off the t.v because THAT is wastage of electricity!

p.s the whole idea of the longest post got lost somewhere. i wanted to write about SO MANY other things!! Then again, i have to be a good Pakistani and follow what our public service messages tell us and obey them for the good of all. *angelic smile* thus i bid farewell to year 2008 with good intentions and bad actions. i promise to write long, short, sensible, nonsensical, happy, sad, good, bad, positive, negative posts here to entertain everyone who reads. The P.Ss
are not supposed to be THIS long!

Surviving through this post doesnt exempt you from reading my previous posts written in a frenzy. They have equal rights too! be kind. you there stop laughing! and you who is not able to appreciate a light humour, smile a little.

Some scrawls and scribblings wander off my page again..

In the dark hours, a loud cry cracks through the deafening silence. A flesh, pink and wrinkled shivers in the warmth of its cradle oblivious of the vicious world around. Many suns rise, many rains fall and many moons shine, sometimes crescent sometimes full. Another unpredictable life completes its journey from the cushioned cradle to the damped earth coffin. The mass of body makes peace to reunite with the dampness of the earth that it is initially evolved from...

Regressed tears gave way to the sparkling film covering the hazel of the eye. Her heart played a different rhythm in her chest, she could feel it throbbing impatiently. Outside the moon floated in the velvety sky like a fish in vast oceans. Inside she sat, consumed by the surrounding vacuum.
Somewhere across the waters, a different tune was being played. Some different acts being performed, a different life being lived, in total oblivion to the regressed tears.
She woke up with a sudden jerk, lost her balance and almost fell off the bed. Again. This dream had been haunting her with a strange continuity. A girl, tears, lonely. what could that mean? With so many pending chores, appointments to catch up with, she tossed away the bothering thought of the recurring dream..
It meant nothing. what could a static dream such as that mean anything significant; nothing ever happened to the girl she had dreams of..all she did was sit there and be amused by her own tears?
She was was not a dream...sometimes life plays strange tricks on us.

to be continued forever....

Dark brown eyes, deep in their sockets sit on a broken bench under a thick trunk, towering tree. The sun shines through the branches and a flock of bird flies off to their destiny. Crisp winter leaves fall from a wise tree adjacent to a row of green benches. A fountain without water stands anciently in the center of the piece of lawn. A winter wind blows past the quietly occupied bench and whispers to the tiny specks of dust, as they too take their flight.

Tuesday, 30 December 2008

2 aur Dau Char

This is a simple fun tag. Thank you smacula for tagging me. I jump and dance around in joy, my favourite ritual on getting tagged.

Here goes 2 aur Dau Char.

4 Places I Go to Over and Over Again

4. Readings
3. Terrace in the fog
2. Chocolate brown blanket on the bed (if that counts as a 'place')
1. College

4 People Who Mail Me Regularly

4. Speed Date (some junk that keeps coming to my inbox, lol. recent was a private note:p)
3. Funny Bunny( this one's new)
2. Cousins
1. Brother

4 of My Favourite Places to Eat

4. Gol gappay wala anywhere on the roads, streets
3. The seethay wala in college
2. Food street( not a favourite since i havent been there. yes yes i live in Lahore :p)
1. Home

4 Places I’d Rather be Now

4. In my old home,where i was born...
3. A theme park taking all kinds of crazy rides.
2. on the terrace, lying on a charpoy, under a summer night sky, with a myriad of stars twinkling down at me.
1. anywhere near the sea or in some beautiful valley

4 Favourite TV Shows

4. Friends
3. funniest animals on animal planet
2. The IT crowd
1. Full house ( loved this sitcom)

4 Movies I Could Watch Again and Again

4. Step up 1, 2
3. my best friend's wedding
2. DDLG, Jab we met
1. you've got mail

and lastly 4 people to be tagged

4. exquisite

3. Dee(duffer)

2. nadia

1. lost in rome

Monday, 29 December 2008

this is a note. a serious one. please read all of the 4 new posts below. thank you

humbly yours

p.s i forgot to mention something about leaving comments on all of them.

*evil grin*

Lahore in Fog

Winters is an amazing season of the year. I have mentioned my undying and ever increasing love for it umpteenth times now and fog is the bonus we get. Its bonus time in Lahore!!!! It is so foggy right now that when i went out on the terrace, i couldnt see the house opposite ours. I couldnt make out where the dark night sky was starting and where the roofs of the houses around me were ending. I stood out in the night for a couple of minutes smelling the clouds of fog. It smells heavenly, fresh and welcoming. it is freezing cold, a little breezy, the top branches of the trees around floating in the night sky, very slowly, a bit rhythmically. I fantasized what it must feel like getting lost in a thick forest of tall, old trees when hours are late, night is dense and darkness so deep that you could drown in it. Right now Lahore is embraced by thick fog. It is humanly impossible to drive from Johar Town to any other place in Lahore for example. i have a few pictures of fog i took last year. For the time i have uploaded something i found on google :)

love for food

*updated* this is a benign post, garnished with a slight humour, not to be taken seriously at all. enjoy the food talk.

When do we eat the most?

When is that golden, greedy time when we eat like there is no tomorrow?

What is that time when we see a lot of delicious food together at one time, in one place?

When do we get free food?

One final question that is perhaps going to reveal the answer: What is the time when we waste food like we have oceans of it?

All these questions have one perfect example.

SHADI ( weddings)

I know its an old rotten topic read and talked about a zillion times now particularly for the bloggers who come from Pakistan. It is, however, ever green. No matter how much we write and preach about the way people wildly react when they see food, nothing changes. People continue to pay least attention to the issue. They keep going to weddings one after the other but thats not a problem. If you are invited its rude to decline the invitation. However, going to weddings ONLY with objective of eating is wrong.

The time when i am least hungry is at the weddings. Its the opposite for others. I see people running and jumping and salivating their way towards the food, my taste buds start to turn low. When i see them grabbing plates and spoons while pushing everyone aside, as if just released from a zoo, i become reluctant of going to the food table to fill my plate. The amazing part is how most of the guests fill their plates more than it allows with some of the chicken/mutton/beef kebabs slipping off it. While they are filling their plates for eternity, they never forget inspecting my plate and asking me in disbelief: " aray tum itna kam khati ho?" " you eat so less?"
while i think to myself :"aray ap itna khatay/khati hain, did u just replace your stomach with a mini version of well?" and then i think to myself, almost wanting to say it aloud: "..err i hope its not my last day on this planet, i can eat more tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow and so on."
The time when i most want to shout out to the guests, sometimes even the people i know, in reply to their curiosty of why i eat so little is "..simply because i dont like leaving food on my plate.."
Horrifying part of all is when people dont bother finishing all the food on their plates and then immediately rush towards the desserts. With the meetha/sweets still on the plate, they keep an eye on where the waitors are setting up the Kashmiri chai/tea tables.

Weddings in winters bring along another item on the food menu and that is Kashmiri chai/tea. The idea is great. Soups and teas are ideal for weddings. there is a big BUT. The whole idea of serving tea becomes a disastrous battlefield, especially if you are not going to an elite wedding. I'm not saying that in elite weddings people are sophisticated enough to maintain their civil behaviour but the only difference is that they display their wildness over food in a subtle manner. They maintain their outward appearance of extreme mannerism but make their movements quick. The techniques? none that i can think of or that i picked up after my observation...but now that i think there must be some excellent basic tips for the beginners(like me) on how to grab, eat and waste food on weddings.

Coming back to the tea. The perfect chaotic scene over getting a cup of kashmiri chai from the originally big water coolers turned chai/tea container coolers is a nightmare. Everyone is in a jovial mood and take delight in pushing you hard and then giving you their humblest of smiles. The only distinctive part of the water cooler turned chai cooler i didnt mention is the tap. Yes the tap to let the tea flow out. The messy part. People are in such a frenzy that they get confused as to where the tap would close and where it would open. i remember attending a wedding of my cousin where her relatives came from a village. very nice, warm people. very hospitable. However,when they saw food and especially the water cooler turned chai cooler, they went crazy. The young girls i had exchanged salams/greetings and pleasant smiles with earlier, refused to recognize me as i waited by their sides/behind them( imagining a queue) for 'my turn' to get a hot cup of chai in the freezing december wedding.

There is some element of being-in-a-hurry-state every time guests are hovering around the food tables. i really dont understand what the rush is all about? are you going to miss your train? are you afraid there would be no food left if you are a few minutes late? are you going to die of hunger? is it some sort of a competition- who eats and wastes the most? the last one could be a possibility...

All i know is that Punjabis' love for food is unconditional, ever green, very strong, deep and intense. However, i should not be prejudiced about this. Fair would be if i assume that Sindis and Balochis and Pathans are all equally mad about food, especially the food being served on weddings.

New Year tag

Islamic New year has already begun and my post comes totally in time :) Tagged by exquisite once again. thanks a lot :)

My note of hope is that all our prayers and wishes and dreams come true. I really really hope that the year ahead brings forth bundles of happiness. The new dawn spreads its joy and warmth on us all.

I want to awaken the optimist sleeping inside me. i hope there is one. one of the bumper stickers on facebook said " be optimistic. everyone you hate are eventually going to die." :p you know what my pessimistic side said? Yes indeed and so are you :p

I am habitual of procrastination. its a disease. i better get rid of it. hmm i think i will do it tomorrow. see? i said i suffer badly from it. i have to make hundreds of To Do Lists and my top most to do is procrastinate a bit...

To love myself would be selfish. There are so many people around us who love us more than we love them. Why waste time loving oneself? Its better that we invest in relations we forget to value rather than indulge in loving ourselves. It reminds me of the legend of the narcissist. The first page of The Alchemist reads the story of the narcissist who admired himself so much, it cost him his life..

Best friends are a jewel. Treasure them. They are hard to find as we often hear and i believe its true as well.

Resolutions are made to be forgotten and broken as soon as we step into the next year. that's the joy of making them in the first place. :P

i am determined to make my desired achievements in the coming year. inshAllah

From now i am going to try my best to make a difference in whatever way i could. Waiting for too long leaves one in regrets and i'm not looking forward to any more regrets in the coming year.inshAllah

Time to tag my fellow bloggers. since i am quite late on continuing this tag, i believe many have already done this.
lost in rome
Dee (duffer)
calm cool

Use the emboldened words as a guide to continue the tag post along into 2009.

acceptance of denial

Monologue of 'shallow' on the stage of life. Somewhere down the stage, the audience sat, breathing in silence as the voice echoed around them.

i often ask God why He never listens to me. I find myself whining and complaining about all the blessings He hasnt blessed me with. Tired and impatient from the silence i blame others and pity myself. I make a decision. I decide I'm not going to pray anymore.
I stop praying.
I never go back to him.
I quit.
I stop unfolding my prayer mat until cobwebs take their place and memory refuses to place them on the call to prayer. Thus begins the journey of denial. Solace and 'peace' embrace me to this new world. I'm welcomed warmly, my cheeks glow red, eyes shine..tears..I'm overwhelmed...

I never look back at what i've left behind because i am a quitter. There is no going back, i think to myself. He never listens anyway. He enjoys it when i beg. A meagre slave I was. Now its freedom. I have broken the shackles of slavery. No prayers. no expectations and no fulfillment. A life of denial, no questions and no answers. no soul...

The air is fresh, grass greener but no one to beg to. No one to speak to. no one to hear me. no one to quietly absorb all my fears in nights of hopelessness and despair. no one to bring a dawn pregnant of hope and fulfillment. i am free...of everything. empty and pain no joy no...

The world of denial- fresher and greener- thats where it ends. Everyone here whines, they are kings of blaming thrones, masters of complaining and architects of their own fates... the journey to this world is no more. it was short, quick and less tiring...comfortable too perhaps...

Idle and empty i dare to look back to the life before denial. The journey was long, tiring, slow at times and transforming. There were changing sceneries. Hurdles in the way, success and failure- comfortable? well sometimes. It was warm and cold. Sometimes desert and sometimes water. Tears and smiles side by side. Rain and sunshine. The walks were shadowed and windy. It was full. There was someone to talk to in moments when no one else did. The nights were long and deep with unfulfilled wishes and dreams but there was someone listening to it all...

Look...there is a glass of water that stands silently on the round petite table in the center. it was abandoned after i left. Now Sun casts its magical beams on the glass. The water shimmers, diamonds float on the surface. Only now did i notice it is half full...I wonder how on other occasions it was always half empty."

Curtains sail in slow rhythms to a music in the background. Shallow sits staring long at the glass. stage lights grow dimmer and dimmer until only a few diamonds sparkle inside the glass and illuminate shallow's face- audience catches a glimpse of it before the curtains finally meet.

Sunday, 21 December 2008

rising again from the fall...

She took a long deep breath and closed her eyes burning with hot tender drops of tears. Her eyes would explode she knew that but the tears got to stay in.. in.. IN- a biting reminder to self. A drop out and down would be pain and hurt. Let it stay in... and grow into a monster then? When and where the voice came she knew not but it made sense....whats the use of letting the negative emotions build inside the walls of her self? whats the use caging them in and make a monster of them?

She had felt the anger, the emotion of pain and agony. The feelings of helplessness and the dreadful hopelessness had taken their reign long enough. It was time to let go off them all. A farewell was imperative. She had to step out of the flood of excruciating experience of going numb, rising in anger, running around in extremity of sour emotions and falling....the time for endless doubts and uncertainty neared its end. The key to lock the monster lay quietly in her closed palms. Emotions are like wild horses she told herself. She had run a long way with the untamed. You have to set them free some time and then run ahead of them; take the horses by the rein and ride on them not behind them...

Now was the right time to get out of her maimed skin and stand aside. Now that she had felt and understood the pinching of all these emotions, the inner bedlam had to bow to its only audience-

Friday, 19 December 2008

The lost wind caged in a bubble...

A long battle had been fought...
A voice, distant and tired, thoughtfully asked: "what battle?"

Reality came crashing down on the rotten, lifeless menagerie. Menageries are lifeless, glass, tiny.....insignificant.

"There was no war, there was no action. The sounds and screams, the blood and flesh was all part of the game."
who won?
"who won what?" the distant and dry voice inquired.
Impatiently she replied- "the game you mentioned "--- silence, a pin dropped and echoed in the skies, among the clouds....and the glass broke. The sound felt like a melody- quick rain of tiny shattered glass came down....silence
"the game is not finished..."
can i come too?
The menagerie's fragile voice faded behind the sound of the game....
no winners, no losers...only fools

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

how well bumper stickers express me :p

This shows the EXACT kind of routine i had during exams...oo i just noticed studying part is missing :p i think that would fit in after #2. In the words of summer cutee "its all in the bumpies"

Monday, 15 December 2008

strange all the way

i have a few things on my mind that i just to want to splash across this page. here i go, so behold my dear readers :)

The Mystery of the Magic Shawl

Its winters. This is the happiest season of all for me. I am on cloud nine with cold winter mornings to greet me every day. Fog spread all across the roads as i take the wide and perhaps the only beautiful road in Lahore, the Main Boulevard where the green belt is spacious, adorned with nature's well groomed tall trees from the time of the British (well there is The Mall Road as well that shares the same fortune, the rare sights of Lahore now). I simply LOVE winters although i suffer from some peculiar swellings on feet and hands and red burning ears! Winter brings so much more like smoke coming out as you breathe through your mouth, chilly winter nights, rains (though i dont really like the silent winter rains, i prefer the thunder and lightning summer monsoon rains) a warm shawl wrapped around your shoulders as you take tiny sips of the hot tea, hot choco milk or a creamy hot coffee and sniff its addictive fragrance.
The warm shawl. Once it gets stained and stinky, it is thrown in laundry to be washed. However, this season something strange happened but i am perfectly okay with it. My mother, however, is rather upset. I have been wearing a shawl, now my favourite, for quite a long time. Perhaps since the start of winters and i am not letting it get washed at any cost. ITS A MAGIC SHAWL!!! Alright alright i see a few sarcastic eyebrows raised.
Here is what happened and happens :D
One fine, unpredictable day i did my ablution and wrapped that magic shawl around my head, folded my hands on my chest and stood for my afternoon prayers. I bowed down for rukku and guess what? I smelled a yummy caramel flavour from out of the blue. I concentrated on my prayers but all along i could smell caramel and strawberry. This strange thing happened day after day after day. And its the shawl!!! Whenever i wear it, it emits wonderful and delicious smells of caramel, creams and strawberries and what not! Isnt this just amazing? I didnt even do my baking with the shawl on so there goes the reason Summer gave- perhaps the cookies i baked left its odour on the shawl. Nope. Not at all.

I had a Dream..

A guy in dress pants in a rather decent attire was seen dancing the Bollywood style dance on the roads. The dance was along a few other men in the background. You know the extras with their fake happy expressions,coordinating perfectly with each other while the hero in a different and distinctive dressing keeps blocking them throughout the sequence and displays his art of dancing after a infinite retakes.
Well yes The Guy kept dancing in my dream. I apologize to use the "i had a dream" title which readily brings to mind the Martin Luther's I had a Dream. The image of the actual dream is blurry and vague now from what i had in the morning. I cant even recall the expression on his face, just some dance moves :p
With no mood of taking an exam but all the same glad whenever the cold wind blew past me, i reached college, still thinking about the meaningless dream :p To everyone's annoyance and a couple of loud protests, we were told that exam timings have been changed to 1.00 pm in the afternoon. As we sat idle, with no mood of revision,i talked to one of my class fellows about the "dancing" dream. She said it was the sign that the exam would be delayed. You do see that i was already on the road to hysteria. (Psst, nando villa that's when you called in and i went on jabbering.) Another one suggested something on the lines of porn and i thought she said pop corns.
What's strange is that during exams, when the fever is high, mood low on studying, eyes heavy with sweet sleep, students normally get dreams/nightmares related to exams! You know the kind where math sums form the shape of sponge bob or formulas start to encircle your ruffled hair or you see yourself slipping through a ladder of difficult theories...what do i dream of? a dancing man? funny...weird...goosebumps :p

The Chowki Daar ( The Gatekeeper at College)

Our college has this rule that requires of us students to show our I.D cards every time we enter the gates. A fat, bulging tummy and uniformed chowkidaar sits at one of the gates of the campus and keeps a check on who ever passes through. We have to show him our I.D cards and i kind of enjoy that ritual. As girls fish for theirs in their huge bags, i already have mine in my hand. Like a proud little girl who earned a golden star on her notebook for good work, i show my I.D to the chowkidaar. To which he always says "shabaash" and in english it would be "good girl". I find this extremely funny. I appreciate his technique of motivating girls because i know how annoying this rule gets when girls hurriedly enter the gates. Every morning as he mutters a "shabaash", i unconsciously smile to myself and walk towards my department. On other occasions i don't really like any of the chowkidaars. They have high tendencies for being rude and nasty. Not so strange but had that on my mind...

Do not Litter

The above is totally and very easily and humbly forgotten. Like someone erased one of the first lessons our parents taught us about tidiness and using bins from our memories. Every time we buy ourselves the once imported but now locally produced Lays chips, we throw the wrapper just near by, only a few feet away from the actual bin. I would hear girls saying "o i don't want any other chips, Super Crisps don't have any quality, i want Lays" or " i don't want Country juice, give me Nestle's" Such high standards but no civic sense?
Today i was about to trip over a can of Red Bull. Litter and absent civic sense drives me CRAZY. what has happened to our common sense? I wonder what those pretty caked up girls, with pedicures and manicures and perfect hair do in their homes. Do they just eat and party around and leave the place dirty?
Then there are beautiful mornings, the sun's shining warmly on the azure sky, you stroll out on the streets and just then something drives past. You notice o wow that's the new Corolla or Mercedes. You're not even done appreciating the good tastes of the car owner when an empty box of Mc Donalds pops out of the window, lingers in mid air for a few seconds, my eyes scan the whole scene, car zooms ahead and empty boxes, wrappers land on the once spotless road. I suggest if we are so proud and shameless of littering, why not even shit in the streets? Not a bad idea. Lets just keep in mind, cats do that too but even they hide it away. Its time to think of our long lost, erased lessons of civic sense.

to be continued...

Sunday, 14 December 2008

Of l.i.f.e and e.f.i.l backwards part 2

Does anyone of you remember part 1? never mind. its not even connected... life. i wonder why all the deadly words are 4 lettered? fear, life, love, hate, corny (oh no,that's a five:p). coincidence?

It amazes me how these tiny words, apparently harmless, contain a world within them. I call them deadly again. Our lives revolve around these words. The love we find or lose in our life, the hurt and warmth we receive and give arouses certain kind of fear, fear of loss? See? I am able to contain these words in one sentence and talk about them in reference to my life, anyone’s life. if i have done that and i am sure all of us are good at talking about life, love, hate and what not, why is it so hard for us to react towards these emotions the way we talk of them? maybe i am wrong..maybe something else...

I read somewhere that we are afraid to be loved. Love makes us feel vulnerable and that's like going into the wounded state. You are unprotected, bare, flesh open to be ripped apart. We think that if we let others love us, we are giving them our weakness. So we hold back, we resist and control. is it? is love such a bizarrely uncomfortable feeling? I think this theory is somewhat right.

if its love, why control or resist or think twice? is trust such an alien concept? what happened to us? Its like we are always calculating, alright if i love them this much, would they love me back? oh i am already on that vulnerability point. this is where we come and stop ourselves. this is where the lines are drawn.

why is it so hard to make amends, to take a step forward and say sorry and mean it. Why do we think that sorry would leave us weak and dependent. Arnt we all dependent on each other...

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Scattergories tag =D

I was tagged by the lovely Seher



1. What is your name: Mubi

2. A 4 Letter word: Muah

3. A Boys Name: Mustafa

4. A Girls Name: Mahrukh

5. An Occupation: Masseuse

6. A Color: Magenta

7. Something you wear: Mascara

8. A Beverage: Marinda

9. A Food: Macaroni

10. Something found in the bathroom: okay i had a hard time picking one of the following so both are taking this space ehehe. Mark and Spencer body lotion and hand wash?:p and moom bati (candle in English, lets make it a M-candle...ahem well the light goes out often so dark in the washroom doesn't really help)

11. A place: Malam jabba

12. A Reason for being late: Mojo jojo mugged me!!! can u believe it?:p oh the rules said it has to be real! ahem well *thinking* OMG...ok i have had it!!! i have awards lying on my shelf for punctuality!..excuse me is that an opposite for late, i wonder? well aright, the award part is a little made up. lets put it this way, even when i am late i am on time :S

13. Something you shout: i give in! the last time i shouted was "you! woman!" (i was in a bad verbal fight!, yes you guessed it right, i lost ugh) someone told me that's an insult if you say it to a woman :S there's a tiny ray of hope, by the way, did you people notice there's a 'M' in woman :D *shocked and surprised* *phew*

i humbly tag
lost in rome

Sunday, 7 December 2008

i love it, i love it, i love it! wohooo!

Alright, beware people, yes you boring ones out there:p theres no hope i am coming to my senses any time soon..or lets say it the way king Julien says it "lets do it before we come back to our senses.." Madagascar 2 Yup, i just watched this movie and i am so sorry Summer cutee, i cudnt resist the temptation and you know so well the degree of it increased tenfold the minute you told me not to watch it already!!! *me sings the move it, move it song* and *dances like Alex*
The thing is, i get on a high after i watch these animated movies (ya one of the silly me moments i have after chocolates, coke/pepsi/any fizzy dizzy drink/animated movies etc etc [thats the censor part])!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so totally excuse my senselessness. wohoooo! i liked its track ' i been around the world in the pourin rain.'
i have got both good news and bad news. good news is we are landing immediately, bad news is we are crash landing.

Since i am feeling out of my tree over the animation, i would suggest Bolt, an upcoming Disney movie, its great! (you will hear that from me about every, i mean every cartoon movie hehehe)
by the way i was thinking on posting some serious 'about life' stuff but then this happened( totally flew out of my senses and landed somewhere near the island of blogomogo) and i realized i will just spare it till after the Eid and exams, Both Es are like so important i think i will make a post somewhere in between.
oh here are a few brilliant clicks(unquoting someone *one raised and one flat eyebrow in sarcasm* that my clicks are not so good for them) :p i have a feeling, this is going to be the first longest post ever on my blog( long in the sense of length and space)

My favourite this season. what is this? WD 40 *music in the background* WD 40 saves the day. so i go around the house, all jumpy and jumpy spraying it into the nuts and bolts and hinges and voila! no terrible annoying *crigg* *crigg* or whatever it sounds like noises.
My sandals. remember i talked of them in one of the earlier posts? what? you dont remember that? well in case you dont remember that, which would be so not good :( leme quickly tell you. well these are my weinbrenner sandals that i own since last year, no actually last, last year. These are like are own feet! inseparable! However, my pops was successful in his plan of buying me a new pair of some 'cool' shoes in his definition which means horrors of horrors! i have to disown these and wear those to college! farewell thee good old sandals! someone please be kind to hand me some tissues *shooooroooonnnnnnnnn*
this is the page where me and my fat, little, evil friends bring our totally, immensely, screwy conversations to life during class lectures. this picture is humbly dedicated to those crazy brainless brainys.

this is my happy big toe, say hi to the world!

this, i dare to present, a filthy state of affairs. the hub of dengue! the tiny waterfall in my college, presently empty though. i like the reflection of the trees in the still water :) ooohhhhh i see a machar!

this i know would get the most votes.. catty in a festive, playful mood. (hehehe summer cutee, i used this pic!)

this is a banner of a 'loose your weight' ad which says ' your only saving that we are going to take away from you is your obesity. 15 to 25pounds within a month and 5 inches decrease in your waist' WOW neat deal huh! well i love the way they have used their advertising technique, if there was any :p The word 'motapa' as we say it in urdu or 'obesity' didnt come in the picture. I couldnt really keep my hand in position in a moving car but hey you can see the three dots of "pay" on the top left of the picture!
the upcoming star made a debut in photo session done by cutee. cute little goat with siblings in the background poses with its droopy ears.

my infamous truck driver sandals, nando villa/aami's favourite footwear she loathes!

last but not the least, i baked yummy, delicious, mouth watering chocolate chip cookies last week and my brother did some food photography :D today is another cookie baking day :D :D

and lastly,i am working on my own calligraphy eid mubarak but for the time being... :)

p.s: did i say anything about the longest post?

Saturday, 6 December 2008

terrible times..

The prevailing state mirrors what Mustafa- the Chosen One- had fortold: "there will come a time when there will be a lot of haraj". When asked what is haraj, he said "killing". He also said: "the one being killed will not know why he is being killed, and the one killing will not know why he is committing the murder."

Thursday, 4 December 2008

The following excerpt is from a wonderful book, Tuesdays with morrie. It's about a young student, Mitch and his classes with his old dying mentor, Morrie. This one class met on tuesdays. The subject was meaning of life.

In the South American rain forest, there is a tribe called the Desana, who see the world as a fixed quantity of energy that flows between all creatures. Every birth must therefore engender a death, and every death brings forth another birth. This way, the energy of the world remains complete.
When they hunt for food, the Desana know that the animals they kill will leave a hole in the spiritual well. But that hole will be filled, they believe, by the souls of the Desana hunters when they die. Were there no men dying, there would be no birds or fish being born. I like this idea. Morrie likes it too. The close he gets to good bye, the more he seems to feel we are all creatures in the same forest. What we take, we must replenish.

"it's only fair," he says.

from the book
"Love each other or perish"

"Once you learn to die, you learn to live"

"Love is the only rational act"

Friday, 28 November 2008

a day in the life of mubi

My life's always been very predictable. i am not the sort who has to face unexpected, sudden, bizarre comic moments. so out of curiosity i ask has there been some shift in other people's life? or maybe our fortune cookies got switched :p
How bad is it that your day starts with a bad, scary, terrible, terrible dream. then you wake up to find you have to complete some unfinished things before the dreaded deadline.following that revelation, a bundle of other tiny but irritating mishaps confront you with a big bright smile.
as soon as i regained my consciousness from my intoxicating slumber(cell phone went on beeping with smses) i glowered at the tiny gadget and realized i am short on time. i hopped onto the computer and began using the printer. as luck would have it, in complete rush and panicky state i made things worse. after a few seconds of peaceful encounter with the toaster look alike printer( i can hear my brother groan at this description of the canon printer:p) i was caught in a furious battle. with good intentions of feeding the printer cum toaster with sufficient papers for the print out, i very conveniently ended up with a bundle of pages horribly stuck inside the machine. i let out a shriek of horror and thus started the* shugum fushum* moments! Once out of the paper printer battle, lost and wounded, i found myself trapped in yet another technology related disaster. Somehow i failed to merge two extra slides to my 2007 power point. and its no rocket science now, is it ?
Already late for college, pulling my socks up( literally) and dragging my bag behind me plus juggling a few(make that around 20) loose pages in my hands, i made a stop at the photocopier to whom i had half the mind of yelling the IT Crowd lines in thick Irish accent "are you from the past?" Then it hit me that i am no better than the poor guy trying to bind my print outs. only a few mins earlier i came out of a printer, powerpoint mess which humbly led to my inflated ego deflating immediately. after a superhuman patience of around 15 mins i got out of the shop with the presentation hard copy in my hands safe and sound.

The drive to college was invested in talk with my pops who insisted on buying me a new pair of shoes. he's annoyed to the point of disgust at the sight of my weinbrenner dusty sandals but i LOVE them. i feel no comfort in any other pair of shoes than those and the idea of disowning them and buying new ones results in goosebumps. the topic under discussion has been this and its no little, run of the mill matter. its serious! so my pops goes on like this "so when should i take you to buy new sandals/shoes/proper ones that you could wear to college" and i followed " ummm hmm papa, what about next semester?" and so the conversation went on....

Last year i was determined to hit myself into the speedy vans and cars on the side lanes while trying to cross it to get to the college gates. this semester i didnt brave to that an extent and have comprised only on dropping certain things off my lap. well i can very easily put all the blame to the forces of gravity right? ah so as i got out of the car, my precious highlighters tossed out in total oblivion. i collected them hurriedly while pops glowered at me and my clumsiness.
getting to my department didnt turn out to be an ordeal, except for the fact that one girl walking beside me, kept staring at me sideways; i thought what better way than to engage her in futile conversation :p
The rest of the day wasnt eventful anymore. all i had to do was give occasional forced nods to the presentations i had to bear with until my turn came.
on my way back home, the sun was unusually burning our skins despite the wintry mornings and chilly nights. well its not that cold. my test for real cold is when you breath out air to find a faint trail of smoke leaving your mouth.
menu of the day instantly lit me up. mum had prepared vegetable soup and mooli wali rotis. at lunch i indulged in a hot bowl of soup with spicy mooli wali roti. yum yum.
the last of the day's highlights were dairy milk chocolates :D :D i still havent touched them, which is so not me. chocolate and me in one either of them has to survive and its always me who survives, the chocolate goes in, melts in with my taste buds and reminds me what an idiotic sweet tooth i have. amazingly not today, which is a major major indication of my unpredictable day! the post wasnt meant to emphasize on the unpredictability(which is no where to be seen) but just my craving to type something...

Tuesday, 25 November 2008


I have no idea what I am going to write (LIKE ALWAYS). All I know right now is that I have one heck of a fast typing speed. Weirdly it slows down when I occasionally take a peek towards my dusty keyboard and becomes faster when I glue my teeny weeny eyes to the screen and see the words appear rapidly filling the white blank space. I have to write an essay of around 2000 words minimum on something very philosophical and I can’t bring myself to form the ideas( some ideas and arguments that I surely have somewhere in my grey matter) into coherent thoughts and then translate them into proper grammar. My deadline awaits me just 4 days ahead. I am on the verge of panic but I know that panic would take a back seat as soon as I take a look around 60% of the room (rest of the 40%, I have very generously given to my brother. This computer where I spend most of my time comes in his tiny part of the room and now I realize that I have written enough in the brackets and that I should stop doing that and come out of the bracket)[WHHEEEE!!! I am out of the bracket: p] and in no time I will find something to indulge myself into and then totally become oblivious to the threatening deadline.

*oo i have to finish reading that book!*
*something good in the fridge to eat i wonder*
*my bed and chocolaty brown blanket...zzzzzz*

moral of the story: temptation is good and deadlines could kill but we always survive

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Rapunzel! Rapunzel!

i was looking through a folder of mine and this is  what caught my attention. Three cheers for the Rapunzel of today :p

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel! You've cut off your hair!
Your billowing tresses are no longer there.
That mohawk you're sporting is spiky and pink.
I'm really not certain just what I should think.
"I came here expecting to clamber a braid,
ascending your tower to come to your aid.
Instead I have suffered the greatest of shocks
to find that you've cut off your lovely blonde locks."
"Prince Charming, Prince Charming," Rapunzel replied,
"I have no intention of being your bride.
We will not get married.  We will not elope.
I've cut off my hair and I've braided a rope.
"You came here to visit me once every day,
and promised that soon you would take me away,
but you were too clueless to even concieve
of cutting my hair off so we could just leave.
"I cannot believe you were such a big dope.
I come and I go as I please with my rope.
And so, I'm afraid I can't give you my hand.
In spite of the fabulous wedding you planned."
From then on Rapunzel was known through the land.
She toured the world in a rock and roll band.
And silly Prince Charming, with rocks in his head,
rode off and got married to Snow White instead.

--Kenn Nesbitt


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